Sunday, September 18, 2011

Hi my name is Celesa and I am an addict

Wow, it's been a while since I've written! So much has gone on in the last month or so. I've totally broken my diet. It really sucks this time, cause I had done so well for longer than I've ever been able to stick to a diet. At one point I had actually gotten down to 189, but now I'm back up to 193. ;( I'm not making excuses, but there was a lot of emotional stuff to deal with. I swear it would be sooooo much easier to lose the weight if I just lived in a box. I've really come to see just how much I'm addicted to food. I know, I know I laugh when people say that too. Let me explain myself. I believe that when we allow something to comfort us other than God that it is wrong and we will become addicts to whatever it is. Not to mention that gluttony is a sin, and sin always separates you from God. I have been stuffing my face with JUNK for this whole month, literally eating away my feelings. There were a few days when I would realize that I was eating to not have to deal with my emotions. I was relying on the food to comfort me rather than an Almighty, loving God who desires for me to lean on Him. Like every other form of addiction, it was just making things worse and worse. I've been doing a lot of research on just what goes in our food. It's appalling to me what is allowed to go into our food. I've decided to work toward eliminating any harmful or potentially harmful products from our diet, and to restrict the amount of animal products we ingest. No, I'm not going to be vegan, but I will be mostly vegetarian. Im still working out what exactly that entails, but living here in Texas, it's definitely going to be hard! I'll write another post or two to show the research behind why I've made this decision later. I certainly don't think everyone needs to do this the same way I am. I think it's extremely important to educate yourself and look at the issue from every angle, then make a decision that's good for yourself. For Christians, that requires prayer and seeing what God would have you do. I am starting to feel lead that I shouldn't put anything into my body that God didn't make. After all, he did make for us everything that we need. Nutrition is the absolute building block for health and Its more important to me to be healthy than to have the number on the scale drop. For this reason, I will post my weight only as a signal that I'm getting healthier. I no longer have a goal weight. I'm just going to treat my body well, and fuel it properly. That will mean the number on the scale drops, but it also means so much more. I'm not going to diet, I'm going to eat to live and live functioning at my best. As I've already said, I will write more as soon as I figure it all out. :)